DAVID #13-------"ANGER MANAGEMENT" or 
"THE DANGER OF ANGER"--1 Samuel 25:2-44 (Read: Verses 2-13)
Intro: When we last left David, we were given a glimpse of why he was called “a man after God’s own heart.” He was given the opportunity to take revenge against King Saul....but instead of  "GETTING EVEN", David reached out to his enemy in love and forgiveness!
Today we will learn what happens when anger is allowed to control our lives.  Is there anyone here who does not have a problem with anger? The fact is we all get angry from time to time; and often we don’t always control our anger as we should.  Someone said, “Anger like fire, finally dies out - but only after leaving a path of destruction.”
*The Bible has much to say to the believer about controlling the temper:
Ø Ephesians 4:26 - “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath.”
Ø Psalm 37:8 – “Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.”
Ø Proverbs 14:29 - “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.”
Ø Proverbs 19:11 - “The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
Ø Ecclesiastes 7:9 – “Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.”
Ø Matthew 5:22 – “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.”
*Notice with me three thoughts about anger that present themselves in this passage.
(1)-(v. 2-13; 21-22)- DAVID’S ANGER CONSIDERED
A. v. 2-11 The Reason For His Anger – David is on the run from Saul. He and his men are hiding in the wilderness. While they are there, they are doing two things. First, they are fighting skirmishes with some of the wild tribes in the area, 1 Samuel 23. Secondly, they served as a protective force for the shepherds in that area, 1 Sam. 25:7    Now, it was customary, in those days, for the person who received the protection to reward the person who provided the protection. Thus, when David heard that it was sheering time, v. 4, he sent some of his men to remind Nabal that they had provided protection and that, as a result, none of his sheep had been lost, v. 7.  So, David sends his men to Nabal with a kind and courteous greeting, v. 6. He reminds Nabal of the effective service they have provided, v. 7. And, he makes no demands, but simply asks Nabal to do the right thing, v. 8.
Instead of responding in gratitude, Nabal answers David’s men with harsh words.  Have you ever been mistreated, misunderstood or had your name misspoken? Have you ever had your feelings hurt or been done dirty by another person? Sure you have! What was your first response?
We get angry and we say and do things we later regret.   Someone said, “Anger manages everything badly.”  Their are people who can conquer the world but cannot control their own temper!
B. v. 12-13 The Reaction Of His Anger – When David’s men return to him and tell him Nabal’s response, v. 12-13, David blows his stack and gathers his men together to exact revenge on Nabal. He prepares 600 men to go after one man. Talk about overkill!  (An old Chinese proverb says, “He who flies off handle always makes bad landing.”)

Nabal’s response should not have surprised David. Look at how the Bible describes this man, v. 3. He is called “churlish.” This word means that Nabal was “hard to get along with.” He had a bad attitude! We are also told that “he was evil in his doings.” This means that Nabal made a habit of doing others dirty in life and in business.  The name Nabal means “Fool.”  Nabal was literally a FOOL WHO LIVED UP TO HIS NAME!  We cannot always control what the other person does to us; but we are in absolute control and responsible for how we respond to what the other person does!
C. v. 21-22 The Results Of His Anger – As a result of his anger, David is temporarily insane! He takes a force of 600 men to kill one guy just because he feels insulted!   David had refrained from killing Saul, because he saw Saul as “the Lord’s anointed”, 24:6, and as his own superior. Here, David sees Nabal as an ant that he can stomp into submission. 
That is what anger does! It takes control of the mind and turns sane men and women into raving lunatics. Anger will cause you to say things you wouldn’t ordinarily say. It will cause you to do things you would not ordinarily do. One has said that "Anger blows out the lamp of the mind" & "A man in anger rides a horse that runs away with him"!   Thankfully, there was a solution for David's anger, and there is one for us as well.
(2)-(v. 14-31)- DAVID’S ANGER CONFRONTED
A. v. 14-20 Abigail’s Appraisal Of The Situation – Nabal was a fool, but his wife was everything that he was not. Her name is Abigail, which means, “My father is joy.” She was a beautiful woman physically, and she was a wise woman spiritually.  When she hears what her foolish husband has done, she takes the necessary steps to make matters right. An evil woman might have said, “This is the opportunity I have been waiting for. I’ll just sit here and wait and David will take care of that old fool for me.”  Instead, Abigail worked on saving Nabal's life!
Why didn’t Abigail tell Nabal what she was doing?   The same reason the servants did not talk to him, verses 14-17. Nabal was totally unapproachable.  Instead of being critical of our wives, we should look at them as our COMPLETER...our HELPMEET...because she will often have wisdom and insight that you do not have in the situations of life.   DON'T EVER SAY THAT YOUR LOVING WIFE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!!!
B. v. 23-31 Abigail’s Appeal In The Situation – When Abigail meets David, she humbled herself at his feet. She refers to herself as David’s “handmaid” six times and calls him “my lord” fourteen times. She admits that her husband is a wicked man and a fool v. 25.  She tells David that God sent her to stop him from murdering a man in anger, v. 26. She tells David that if he kills Nabal in anger it will hang over his legacy like a dark cloud. If he does what his anger is telling him to do, he will regret it forever.
James 1:19-20 says, “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”)
C. v. 32 Abigail’s Achievement In The Situation – Abigail’s wisdom overcame the anger in David’s heart and he backed away from his plans.  DAVID NEEDED TO TAKE A CHILL-PILL!!!  If you have a relationship that is suffering, it may be that you need to manage your anger!
(3)-(v. 32-42)- DAVID’S ANGER CONQUERED
This chapter show us how and why David was able to overcome his anger.
A. v. 32-35 Conquered By The Openness Of David’s Heart –This chapter show us how and why David was able to overcome his anger. David backed down because he saw that God had worked in the situation to send Abigail to him.   David accepted the things Abigail brought and allowed her to return home with his promise that all was well.

“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good,” Romans 12:17-21. 
B. v. 36-42 Conquered By The Operation Of David’s Heart – When Abigail returns home, she finds her husband drunk. She knows that if she tells him in that state, he is liable to do something really foolish. So, she waits until the morning and she tells him what she has done. When she does, Nabal experiences what many believe to be a stroke. Either he is overcome by anger at what Abigail did and what David threatened to do; or he is over come by fear. Either way, he stays in that condition for ten days and he dies.  In the end, David married Abigail and probably came to possess all that had belonged to Nabal. In other words, David got it all simply because he refused to allow his anger to rule his life.  David proved by his actions in this encounter just why he was called “A man after God’s own heart.” David responded properly to the voice of the Lord and his anger was kept in check. 
*We need to bring our anger to the Lord and ask Him to help us act like Him toward those who offend us.